Coming Back to Society

Haile Gebrselassie - Probably my most favorite distance runner of all time

For the last two weeks I have been silent, but I have not been idle.  I decided to take a two week vacation from work so that I could spend my final run into the MCAT in total isolation.  Like the ancient Taoist masters who would retreat to a remote mountain cave to contemplate the Universe, I too felt compelled to divorce myself completely from society so that I might finish my preparations unimpeded.

During those two weeks I had a Biochemistry final that was soul crushing, but I did well.  I was pleased by that.  Somehow I also managed to do a practice MCAT and review it every day.  I did not do exhaustive review, but rather re-read each question and determined whether I "guessed", accidentally got it right, or if my thinking was correct.  This seemed to be an efficient method for me to find where I was deficient in my knowledge.

Much to my chagrin, I could not score over an 11 on the Verbal Reasoning sections, no matter how hard I tried.  There always seem to be several illogical choices that the test writer insists is the "most logical" answer.  Most of the time, after reading their explanation I could see why they chose the answer that they did, but in some instances I wasn't convinced.

On Saturday I took the test and I was extremely nervous.  All that effort for a mere three hours of my life.  Much to my surprise, I started to panic on the Biology section when my mind when blank for no reason.  Fortunately I was able to take a breath, regroup and get back on track.  That was a scary moment.  Even post test, I feel like I did not do as well as I could have on the Biological sciences section.  That really annoys me, since I was counting on it to help buoy my score.  On the flipside, I felt more comfortable in the Physical Sciences section than normal.

Objectively I know that I did better than the last MCAT, but how much better?  I will be devastated if it is only one or two points.  If it is three or more points, then I will consider it to have been a success.  Running into the test, I was averaging a 32 on the practice tests, and my highest was a 35 on one test.  I think that realistically I can reach 33 if I didn't make any stupid calculation errors in PS, and I managed to see through the logic traps on VR.  We shall see in thirty days.

For now I have decided to enact plan B of my journey into medical school.  The last 9 months have been very trying for me physically.  I would usually sit at work for 10 hours, after which I would go home to study for another 3 - 4 hours.  I have gained at least 30 pounds, and I do not feel like I am presentable to an interviewing committee.  To remedy this I am going to start my Triathlon training plan over again, while also doing a juice fast for the first week.  The triathlon training will serve to replenish my overall health, while establishing a strong energy reserve, while the juice fast will be to reset my metabolism.  I feel like endurance training will consume more fat than HIIT.  I just have to be able to manage the increased food cravings that are inevitable with that type of training.

Tomorrow I will input my initial body stats, and maybe a picture to help publicly shame me into following through, although I don't know how violently the general public will react to my hideous form >:]  I am excited to be able to exercise again, and to be honest...endurance training is sort of apropos to my path into Medical School.  The journey is far, but if you take a measured pace you can reach your goal!

Getting Back to It

So I have neglected my posting on this blog, but happily I haven't necessarily neglected my training. With this post I want to give a progress report, and then extend the scope of this blog. Since it won't only be about fitness, but about becoming a better person in general.

Let's start with the progress report. From that initial post back in 2010 until January of 2011, I trained hard and consistently. I did change my approach, somewhat, to avoid injuries but I saw noticeable improvement as well as a dramatic weight loss. After January, I stopped training for the rest of the year. It was against my wishes, but there were personal issues involved so I did it in the best interest of my family and our peace of mind.

I proceeded to pack on an amazing 35 pounds which was even more than I weighed before I started training the first time. After gradually hating myself more and more I decided to start up the training once again. Since December of 2011 I decided to have a regiment of running and Chen Taijiquan. The running is for my cardio and the Taijiquan is for leg strength. I will probably return to full Tri training when I have the time, but I am currently reduced to training 1.5 hours a day 3 - 4 times a week maximum. I don't always reach that goal :(

The second part of this post is to outline new goals I have set for myself and to set up a forum where I can maintain public accountability. One of the reasons my training did not go as smoothly as I wanted to is because I had made the decision to try and start Medical School...at 32 years old.

You see what I did there? I like to make huge goals for myself. I have to go big or not at all. How can I get motivated if the challenge isn't worthy enough? Anybody can buy a book and get a computer certification, but medical school. Now there is a beastly challenge that I can test myself against!

Don't get me wrong, this decision wasn't made on the spur of the moment. I might as well give you the whole story, since you asked. My undergrad degree is in EECS, which stands for "Electrical Engineering and Computer Science". I put the emphasis in CS and thought that all my worries were over when I graduated in 2003. Monetarily my worries have been over. The job pays well and has endless avenues for improvement and exploration. Unfortunately I made a grave miscalculation. I didn't realize how boring and meaningless the work in this field would be.

I look like this when I am depressed

After years of coming home unfulfilled I decided I couldn't take it anymore. I was faced with a decision. I could either let myself go insane, dragged down by the monotony of the work and the severe depression as a result of the tremendous waste my life was going to, or I could do something radical! The crux of the matter was that I could not see how my life was making a difference by pounding out code every day for some faceless corporation. That feeling was exacerbated when I realized that ALL the work I had done would be re-done in a matter of 2 years or less. So even the footprint of my body of work would disappear and no record of what I had done would even endure as a testament to my "brilliance", collaboration, or contribution.

These realizations made me start searching. At first I thought I could find peace in starting my own company so that I stood at the top of the ladder and would be able to have an impact on how the business ran and grew. It didn't take me long to realize I am not a business man. I don't think like one, I am not motivated by monetary gain enough to really push for things. I only care about a sexy idea, and once I have developed it I lose interest and want to move on to something else. This is not a good way to grow a business. I was stuck at this point, but after I started volunteering at a free medical clinic as an interpreter the light bulb suddenly flashed on. I could be a doctor! I love to help people, and making their lives better has a much greater impact than writing some faceless computer program.

Chalk it down friends! My decision was made and Medical School has become my goal. That decision was made roughly 5 years ago. This year, it is finally coming down to the wire. I have finished all of the prerequisites (by taking one night class a semester) and the MCAT is looming in July. The MCAT is my first true hurdle to getting accepted. This test is like the Triathlon of the academic world. You must take everything you have learned about Biology, Organic Chemistry, General Chemistry, and Physics and apply it one 4 hour test.

Join me as I continue to post my journey to improve both my mind and body. I will keep you updated on my fitness, and my struggles to accrue the necessary knowledge for a future career as a Physician.